Iran wins Iraq election

Iraqi voters have given George W. Bush an early Christmas present: a big lump of coal. While the President has been trumpeting the good news about budding Iraqi democracy, election returns indicate that the winners are Islamic fundamentalist parties with ties to Iran. That’s the trouble with democracy: you can’t always control the outcome. The neocons would have been better sticking with their old buddy, Saddam Hussein, a secular tyrant who was keeping a lid on the place. But it’s not too late to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. What with curtailing civil liberties, spying on its own citizens, and trying to ram Creationism down the throats of school children, surely the Bush administration qualifies as a religious fundamentalist regime itself. All it has to do is convince its Muslim counterparts that they’re all on the same side in the war against godless leftists, and then go after the real threats to civilization – like Evo Morales and Jack Layton.