Friday, February 24, 2006

The curse of Bertuzzi

A just, omnipotent God would not allow someone who was in serious violation of the Eligibility Code of the Olympic Charter, which requires that participants “respect the spirit of fair play and non-violence, and behave accordingly”, to be rewarded with an Olympic gold medal.
At least one player on Canada’s men’s hockey team was in serious violation of the Eligibility Code of the Olympic Charter.
Therefore, Canada’s men’s hockey team failed to win the gold medal.

There you have it: rigorous logic reveals the real reason for the Canadian team’s collapse. God was not amused. The fact that Todd Bertuzzi was in the penalty box when Russia scored the winning goal against Canada only drove the point home. Of course, when thuggish Bobby Clarke deliberately assaulted Soviet star Valery Kharlamov and broke his ankle in the 1972 series, Canada went on to win the series, but at least Clarke didn’t get a gold medal. What Clarke and the rest of the Canadian team got was a permanent stain on an otherwise heroic comeback. Thank goodness, the excellent Canadian women’s-hockey championship team contains no malefactors.

Before the Olympics, I predicted that Sweden would win the men’s hockey tournament. I think I’ll be cheering for underdog (?) Finland in the final, but it won’t be a bad thing for hockey that one of these nations will go home with the gold and the other with the silver. Finland has compiled an outstanding record so far, built on a tight defence and a good power play. In their shutout of Russia today, the Finns’ robot-like teamwork triumphed over the individualistic flair of the Russians. Remember when Canadian commentators used to laud Canada’s individualism and denigrate the robot-like teamwork of the godless communists? It was ideological garbage then and it’s just plain silly now. Go, Suomi!

Update, Feb. 26:

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home